Baby C has been in our lives for 25 days now, and it seems somehow like ages ago, when my life was my own. When I could do as I please without having to think of anyone else. These past 25 days have taught me that I can no longer make any plans or appointments with a set time, that getting ready takes approximately two hours and that even though everything can be going as plain-sailing as possible, one small hitch at the last minute can mean throwing away all our well-planned outings.
Our places of visit have also changed, drastically so. Although at this point I can not thank my mother and A’s parents enough for taking care of C whenever we pop out for a coffee a’ deux, or dash off for a quiet lunch. I have to be honest and say that I do feel somewhat guilty of leaving her with the grandparents and miss her terribly when we do so. But such outings are a necessity. I have re-started my weekly hair appointments, and that hour of gossiping with my hairdresser, having a coffee and visiting some shops works wonders! We have temporarily waved goodbye to certain restaurants for their lack of pushchair accessibility, and more so, for not being baby-friendly. So we have joined the Noisy-People-Club and visit Their places, where C’s grumblings and sometimes cries, go unnoticed in the greater scheme of noises.
I have to be honest and say that I do miss the quality time I used to spend with A alone, and I do wish that I can give him more attention at the moment. But he understands as do I, that at the moment it’s all about C. Her needs come first, second and third, and whatever little time is left is hastily grabbed and used to shower, eat and sneak a hug and kiss from A! However I would not change, not even for a milli-second, the precious moments the three of us share, when I’m feeding her and A looks at us with a grin as wide as that of the Cheshire Cat. Such times are just perfect.
Whilst pregnant, I never truly knew what to expect. I imagined the baby being born, but did not really think as to what would happen after that point. And I am thinking that not even had I thought about it the whole nine months, would I have been slightly near the correct mark. I never truly imagined how much time a baby would take up. I somehow had this idea that after feeding and cleaning, a baby would be able to keep itself entertained and would give me a couple of free minutes here and there. The reality is far from that, for when awake, C is either feeding or letting out some cries. Her only quiet moments seem to be when attached to my breast or when sleeping. I have to remind myself that she is still a newborn, and that further along the line, when her vision and sense of movement improve, she will be able to start grabbing things, see better and be able to start entertaining herself without my aid. I had this image of a newborn being put in a swing or a pushchair wide awake and being able to stay there, quietly so, without any cries or sounds of protest. C does nothing of the sort, for she only stays put in the pushchair and swing when she is placed there sleeping, and still can not be placed there wide awake and stay there quietly.
Again I must learn – baby steps, baby steps.