Ever since Cesca was born I have seen a change going around where my friends are concerned. I have till now closed my eyes to the obvious, but have come to realize that indeed, some things have shifted.
When some of my friends found out that I would be spending the three months of summer on The Rock, they messaged me, asking to meet me, go out for coffee, walks and a good old chat. These included my dearest friends, my oldest acquaintances with whom I have spent lots and lots of hours, from our school-time to our going-out days, people who know my fears, loves and secrets.
During the summer I met lots of my friends. And it was a blast. For amongst the things I miss most here in England, are my friends and the meetings and chats we used to have. I have made new friends here, people who have become my second family of sorts, people who share my values and loves and with whom I feel at ease. I would not want to think of a life without friends, because as much as I love A, and consider him my true best friend, there are some things only another female will understand – eg. the number of hours we can spend talking and shopping for clothes, the gossip surrounding the celebrity world, the horrible PMS, bad hair days and excitement over the new Bridget Jones’ film.
So you may understand my sorrow that I only met my true friends twice this summer. I met other friends more than once, and I truly enjoyed it, but my other close friends only got to meet me twice – once pre- and once post-Cesca. Gone were our plans to go for walks with Cesca, meeting up for a drink or just plain visiting each others’ house. I messaged them on various occasions, but all I got in return was a “Yes, we must meet up!” Nothing followed that.
Don’t get me wrong. They still message me on Facebook. They send me emails and messages asking about Cesca and how life in England is. They continue to update on their life back in Malta. But as for meeting them while I could and had time to do so, I am truly saddened by the lack of such.
I do not know if it is a coincidence or not, but the only friends whom I met more than once this summer were the ones who were parents themselves, or who were becoming parents.
Have I become my own nightmare? The type of person who can only speak about their children when they meet other people? Whose whole world revolves around their children? I think not, but the lack of physical contact with my oldest friends has got me thinking that perhaps, I have changed more than I have realized.
And to think that one of the reasons why I wanted to meet up with my friends was to feel as my normal self again, and not just a mummy-to-be and a mummy, with normal topics of conversation and going out hours.
I do not know the reason for this. To be quite honest, I do have some thoughts as to why this might have happened, but they’re too ugly to write down and I do not want to linger too long on such reasons. It just makes me sad that the reality did not live up to the expectations I had this summer as far as my friends were concerned.
Do you think friends who aren’t in a relationship and/or who have no children look at their friends who have children, differently? And maybe tried to avoid them as a result of such?
Here’s hoping that my one-month visit to The Rock in December will be more productive on the friends front.