I always start the day with the best of intentions. I go to bed at night planning the day ahead – clean out my wardrobe, iron A’s shirts, tidy up the medicine cabinet, put all of C’s books in one place…the usual drill really. What normally happens is that I either get to do everything or nothing at all.I either wake up with a full bout of energy and manage to strike off every item from my To-Do list, or else 6pm arrives and I realize that I haven’t yet done the bed.
I call it lethargy. The awful feeling of not being bothered to do anything but the bare essential. If that.
Sometimes it happens too often for comfort. On such days I can barely bring myself to shower and instead find refuge in my comfy house-coat for the whole day. On such days, C seems more demanding than ever, and I admit to losing my temper much more easier than usual. Cooking-wise I do so without enthusiasm and unfortunately for my husband, the food does taste and look lacking. As for C’s food, I use the easy-way-out and resort to jars or pasta. I find it more time-consuming to prepare Cesca’s food than our own. I try and keep everything in balance for her – some carbs, veg, protein, something sweet and dairy. But on my couldn’t-care-less days, I sometimes go to bed feeling as guilty as ever because no thought at all would have gone into her food. Just something quick, add some Crackerbread, some fruit and chocolate balls to keep her quiet (and still while changing her nappy!) and her food for the day is ready.
And since on such days I don’t bother showering till right before The Husband returns from work, we stay in all day, probably in front of this laptop, trying to keep C busy playing on her own, not bothering to read a single book to her or play with her. Fortunately for me, her favourite time involves emptying her toys and scattering them around the place before settling on something in particular.
I guess we can’t be Super-Mummy and Super-Wife all of the time. Or at anytime at all.
Today will not be such a day, I promise.