The next couple of weeks will be anything but easy.
Today is my father’s birthday, the day of his passing is only a couple of weeks later, my deceased maternal grandmother’s birthday follows, then it’s my parents’ anniversary and tomorrow marks a year since my grandmother died. Then there’s the sullen period of Lent which just has to fall within this period year after year. You may know understand the reason for my dreading this time of the year. It sometimes feels like trying to swim in rough seas – you do your best to swim inshore, the choppy water takes you under, you pop back up again just in time to catch a couple of breaths and then down again you go.
I have to admit that come the end of March, I do let out a huge sigh of relief that these weeks have passed by. They are quite trying days. As much as I would sometimes wish to, I can not spend these weeks being wrapped up in my blanket of self-pity and misery. As painful as it is, life must go on, frowns must be turned to smiles and you have to revive your inner source of energy and whisk it up a bit to find the will to get up off your behind and face the world.
You do have small setbacks, unimportant things that happen in the meanwhile which make you feel as if all your efforts are done in vain. This year it happened as well. Nearly seven years after he passed in vain, my father still has his voting document issued. Notwithstanding notifying the Electoral Commission, both political parties and talking to the Public Registry about how come his death registration did not result in his vote being deleted, every election time his vote is issued. And to make matters worse events like yesterday happen. When my mother receives a phone-call, asking for my father and querying why his vote has not yet collected.
So have a great one up there Dad. I can’t help but remember your past birthdays, both when you were still with us and since then. Memories of them are all I have left. The only good thing is that unlike everything else, memories are the one thing I can willfully not let go away and keep close to me.