My little Kikkina,
Today is your second birthday. You’re two! I can not for the life of me believe that two years have passed since you came into this world. It’s almost difficult to remember our life before you came along. You are our first thought in the morning and our last one before we go to bed. You are the cause of endless hours of worry I’ve had ever since you were born – you were born too early, you were too small, you ate too much, you didn’t (still don’t) eat too much, you walked late – yes, your mummy is a natural-born worrier. Thankfully papa’ keeps me calm and grounded and overall sane.
You made me a mummy and gave me the hardest job ever. It was not something I could totally prepare myself for and as much as I thought I knew what I was getting into, I honestly did not have a clue. I felt lost at times, I felt so alone at the beginning and there were days when I did not have an idea what I was doing. But you always were able to show me what worked and what didn’t, and although I did err at first (and I do still get it wrong at times nowadays!), we slowly helped each other find the right path.
Two years ago you were so small and fragile! You were born at 37 weeks, with your fists curled up strong and tight and with a scream I’m sure could shatter glass. I could not imagine that you would one day grow up, and my have you grown! You’re growing taller by the day and you never stop talking! You say everything, you’ve started forming sentences, last week you started saying the alphabet on your own, you know your colours and shapes, and finally you’ve come to accept the fact that your name is Cesca not ‘Xexa’. And the first word you’ve just learnt to spell? Play-doh! It’s fascinating seeing you concentrate, looking attentively at my mouth and repeating the words I say. It’s amazing how a mind so young can focus like yours does. You’re a cheeky monkey at times – you come for hugs and cuddles whenever I tell you off for something. You threaten us with ‘Cesca cries’ whenever we tell you ‘no’, and you know that the nanniet are a bit more easily influenced by your false theatrics than we are. You have everyone wrapped around your little finger, and I honestly don’t mind. You’re young, you are lucky to be surrounded by so much love and attention and there will be hard times in the future when you’d wish you were still young enough to be able to get out of trouble. So enjoy this time my little one!
I never tire of looking at you, perhaps now more than ever. You have a character of your own. You’re nothing like your papa’ or me. You’re a hundred times more headstrong than myself, you’re a natural born entertainer and not one to shy away from attention. You’re disgustingly vain, always looking for a mirror and then repeating ‘how pretty’ over and over again. Yet you have a big heart and you give out so much love, it’s amazing to watch! You have loving spurts of energy when you hug and literally jump onto us or your nanniet, you love cuddling up for your last bottle and playing with y/our ears! Those last few minutes before you nod off to sleep are so precious. It’s the only time of the day when you’re still and perfectly calm. You see, during the day you’re one big energy-bomb. You never stop running around and you wipe me out completely. You have to be busy all the time!
So happy birthday sweet little angel. I do hope you will always remain with a smile on your face and with an extra hug to give. I want to shield you away from everything less than perfect in life but I know that you have your life to live. So I pray you hold on to your strong character and sheer determination. Everything we do, we do with you in mind. Everything we did, we did for your own good. I just pray that you will be the happiest girl around as a result of it. Just know that everything was done with our best intentions at heart.
We love you Kikkina. Yes, you’ve turned our lives upside down, our home is always one big mess thanks to you, you’ve thrown my make-up in the toilet and marked every single piece of paper as your own, but it all does not matter. Because seeing you smile and hearing you laugh makes it all worthwhile. And it proves that as much as parenthood is hard and frightening, as much as I’ve panicked, cried and worried, we’re maybe, just maybe, getting it right with you.
All our love and much much more.
Mama’ and papa’ (a.k.a. Jo and Ant to you!)