Finding My Feet


After last week’s post, the messages of support that came pouring in was impressive and rendered an already-emotional me into a big bubble of gooey thankfulness. Close friends shared their experiences, online acquaintances told me of their similar plights and I realized that I am not alone in feeling overwhelmed at times. I never really questioned my level of normalcy, because I know that the majority of my marbles are there – they perhaps needed to be realigned and find their right place, but small words of encouragement and receiving small hugs from friends made me feel like the old me again. I still have the odd moment of uneasiness here and there and I know that I’m still a bit vulnerable when it comes to certain situations, but I am out of the dark tunnel and I’m enjoying the sunshine on my face.

When I wrote the last post I was slightly worried about the events to come later that week. Mind you, it wasn’t a punishing situation. Quite the opposite actually. A and myself (sans Cesca) were going to take a short holiday. This ought to have been nothing to me really, me the self-proclaimed lover of flying and travelling. However I found myself worrying about the silliest things – getting a panic attack on the airplane, finding the apartment we rented too small and claustrophobic, having sleepless nights, missing Cesca too much, not having a Reiki session easily at hand if things just got too much. All my worries proved to be useless at the end. We flew, we arrived, we ate and ate and ate, we walked, we laughed, we relaxed and it was just what I needed at that exact time. I taught myself to wander away from the silly thoughts that popped into my mind every now and then and caused me unnecessary worry. And in a place like Florence, Italy this proved to be no problem at all.

The best part of the holiday proved to be the morning after arriving, waking up to Cesca jumping on our bed shouting ‘I missed you so so so much!!’ and covering us with hugs and kisses and talking one word to a million, telling us about her adventures the past couple of days.

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