Probably one of the mistakes I made from the beginning of this pregnancy was comparing it to the one I had with C. They turned out to be two different events, not as many similarities as I had expected and secretly hoped for, but overall they were both great experiences in their own merits. It was totally unfair to compare one pregnancy with the other, simply because the circumstances surrounding both pregnancies were totally different. First off with C I was not working, I was living in England and I had nothing on my mind except taking care of the small attic we lived in, buying baby things online and visiting the city-centre for dates with my friends. This time round the situation was different. I was (and still am) working full-time, had a three-year old to take care of, I had school preparations to take care, had to deal with a Maltese summer and had a bigger place to look after as well. It goes without saying that all these circumstances shaped this pregnancy in a much different manner than the first one. This time round the nausea in the beginning of the pregnancy lasted for two weeks more, I felt this baby three weeks before I ever felt C, I suffered more heartburn this time round but I didn’t have the awful case of itchiness I had on my legs as I did with C. The same things which bothered me in the early weeks of my first pregnancy, bothered me this time round too – sparkling water and the smell of garlic were the most prominent. The advantage of this pregnancy was knowing, up to a certain extent, what to expect with each passing month. Nothing fazes you as much as it does the first time round. Pregnancy is no light stroll in the park, but now that I’m nearing its’ end, I will miss many things about it – mostly the intimacy of having a baby growing inside you and having ‘it’ all to yourself for the time being. What I won’t miss about these (hopefully) last days – the awful heaviness I’ve become, my aching back, the inability to find a comfortable position when seated or laying down, the painful foot cramps and my newly-acquired penguin walk. And my maternity clothes of course. There’s a bonfire or a visit to a car-boot sale planned for those.
I have been reading and re-reading articles and blog posts about how to prepare C for this new baby. All sorts of opinions and helpful advice has popped up, but I feel as if I can only prepare her so much. Honestly, I think she’s ready for her sibling. She spontaneously gives my tummy kisses and hugs and asks when the baby is coming. She has come up with a name for the baby and helped me set up the baby corner. And apart from mentioning the baby with her, involving her as much as I can with the baby’s arrival and talking to her about how she’s going to be my big baby from now onwards and the baby will be our little baby, what else can I truly do? The only setback is that she will be starting school next week, and that may now coincide with the baby’s arrival. So now I’ve promised her that the baby will be bringing her a gift when she goes to school – I’m trying all that I can to make this change as smooth as possible. But in all honesty I won’t know how she reacts to everything until the actual moment arrives. I can only hope and pray.
In the meantime I once again start thinking about my pregnancy with C, and I remember how at this exact time, C was already seven days old.
I know – bad, bad, bad thing to do.