Listening in to your neighbour calling out for his cat for two solid hours yesterday evening, in strong winds and light showers. You’re cozying it up inside and he’s getting wet outside looking for a feline who’s probably just in heat. It is January after all.
Trying to feed your daughter that very first spoonful of food. For five whole minutes she will turn her head away, push the cutlery away with her hands, spin around or run away from you, spit out food, scream the place down. And then after the first swallow she opens her mouth voluntarily and eats, and enjoys it, and goes ‘mmmmm’. Just like that.
Hearing your daughter say new words. “Cacker” (cracker), “goat”, “big” (pig) and “babbit” (rabbit) are her latest. Her vocabulary is growing everyday and more exciting than that, is her learning to associate words with things and pictures.
Having your daughter pronounce “duck” and “clock” as “cuck” in public. I can’t even bring myself to spell it correctly. Absoultely cringe-worthy.
Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear about not making the right decisions, fear about letting someone down, fear Cesca’s not eating enough, fear she’s eating too much. I could go on forever really.
Fear brings excitement. Change brings excitement. Watching my best friend’s belly grow and knowing that soon years of longing will result in one lucky baby. Finding a new baking recipe I can’t wait to try out. Unknowingly getting an extra 20% off sale items when you come to pay for a bag you’ve been coveting after for the past months.
Staying inside due to windy and cold weather, spend hours on the internet as a result and fill up every virtual shopping bag known to man. Then finding really good online voucher codes AND free shipping and trying, so so SO hard, not to press the “Buy Now” button.
Knowing that our next visit to The Rock will be at Carnival weekend. Mile-long queues to catch the ferry, the Loud Crowd infesting Victoria, parking hassles, trying to have a quiet coffee at Arkadia and supermarket nightmares. Just to mention a few of my worries.
Not understanding the whining monster Cesca becomes at times. She will whine and cry, moan and hold her head in her hands. She holds on to my legs, pulls my hair, scratches her face with her long talons she refuses to let me cut, and I don’t know why. I don’t understand why she does that, it just bothers me, makes me angry and then sad that I got angry.
Knowing that at the end of the day, whatever may have happened, you have someone who always has your back. Even if you drive them bonkers in the meantime, have them climb up the walls and shake their head in disbelief. Eleven years with me can do that to the best of men. So every day we finish with a cup of tea on the sofa watching something off The Food Network and complaining how hungry we are (again), I’m thankful for.
We have health, we have a warm home, we have a super-hyper and lovely little girl, we have a loving family, good friends and we should not ask for more.
But we do of course. That’s just the way we’re made. So for one I’m trying. I’m making it a point to live life with a smile and a positive outlook. It makes for better living!